Tips to Manage the Holiday Blues

The holiday season is dubbed as the “most wonderful time of the year.” However, this isn’t true for many, especially for those who are struggling with loss. There are other reasons for the holiday blues: stress, fatigue, unrealistic expectations, financial struggles, and over-commercialization. In fact, therapists agree that depression and anxiety tend to heighten during the holiday season and thus the phrase “holiday depression" was coined. 

According to an article in Psychology Today, the demands and stress of the holidays and the expectations to be happy can make an individual feel even more depressed, especially if he/she is already struggling with a mood disorder. The holidays can also be a trigger for individuals who struggle with seasonal depression, a class of depression that is recognized by mental health experts and physicians. Seasonal affective disorder (SAD) is a seasonal depression that peaks in the winter months due to shorter days and decreased sunlight. Decreased levels of serotonin, increased levels of melatonin, low levels of vitamin D, and a disruption in circadian rhythms are known triggers of seasonal affective disorder. Individuals who live in colder, snowy areas and areas that are farther from the equator are more at risk for seasonal affective disorder.

Here are some ways that you can manage or prevent the holiday blues:

• Set realistic expectations: Instead of attending a handful of holiday parties, only commit to one, or maybe skip the holiday parties altogether this year. Having high hopes for the holidays can be stressful and can potentially cause you to spiral. It is perfectly okay to stay home, not making any plans, and do what makes you feel happy.
• Avoid triggering family members: Maybe you have an uncle who makes jokes about your sexual orientation or who does not respect your sobriety. Maybe there are one or two family members who continuously shame your views of politics or religion. There is absolutely no rule stating you must spend time with these people, even around the holidays. If you have family members that are triggering and cause you a lot of stress, then avoid them, even if it means skipping out on the family gathering. Your mental health will benefit from this.
• Being alone is okay: Maybe this is your first holiday alone, and you don’t want to decorate the tree by yourself; you should do it anyway. If you enjoy holiday decorations, then you should spend time enjoying decorating your home and a tree. Turn on some Christmas music or movies and enjoy yourself. The same goes for making cookies, cooking Christmas dinner, and wrapping gifts. You are capable of doing all of these festivities alone, especially if it brings you joy.
• Travel: Maybe you want to skip the holidays altogether and go out of town to get away and reflect. Traveling is always a great way to escape the hustle and bustle of the holiday season.
• Talk to a therapist: Maybe this is your first holiday without your spouse or your children. This time of year can be especially triggering if you are still grieving a loved one. Talking to a mental health expert about your feelings can help you from becoming self-destructive during this time of year. It can also give you coping skills that can help you process your grief.

Ultimately it is up to you to decide how you are going to spend this holiday season. Our society puts a lot of pressure on us during this time of year, but it is essential to take the time and space to decide what makes you happy. This holiday season will pass, regardless of how you spend it. Your life will never be dictated by how you spent the holidays. Be sure to take each day as it comes and remember that it is okay if this is not “your most wonderful time of the year.”