Creating Balance In Your Life

Jana Kingsford, author of the book Unjuggled wrote “Balance is not something you find, it is something you create.” How do you do that? How do you create balance in your life? Here are some tools from Psychology Today to help you move toward creating balance in ways that you can.

Clarify your values.
An important starting place in working toward spending time on a range of things that matter to you is clarifying what is important to you. Pay particular attention to the areas of life that you value but that you struggle to fit into your life so that you can work toward adding them into your daily, weekly, or monthly routines. This process can help you attend to what is important to you and not just what is urgent.

Turn toward the reality of time.
Choose a typical day or week and monitor how long you spend in each domain of your life (e.g., work, family, friends, self-care and nourishment, community, spirituality, household responsibilities, etc). Notice what takes longer than you expect and what you never seem to get to. It can be helpful to think about how much of your time you would like to be spending in different areas and then comparing that to your actual behavior to see where there’s a mismatch. Consider whether you can cut back time in some areas to add something valued in. You may find that you are spending time on things that you think are restful, like browsing the internet or social media, when other activities like taking a walk, reading, or having a conversation with a friend might be more rewarding and energizing. Try out some small changes and notice the impact on your mood and sense of satisfaction. Some questions you might ask yourself about tasks that are taking more time than you’d like are:

• Is this something I truly have to do, or something I believe I have to do?
• Is the manner in which I do this more time-intensive than necessary?
• Am I trying to do this perfectly when I can instead do it well enough?
• Are there things I can say no to so that my time in this area is reduced?

Think small.
We often feel like our values-based actions need to take a significant amount of time and then, when we can’t find a significant amount of time, we don’t add in these actions at all. However, even small doses of values-based actions can be meaningful and rewarding. Earlier this summer, a New York Times article suggested trying out an 8-minute phone call with a close friend because people are having trouble finding time to stay connected. A 2022 study by Virginia Strum and colleagues found that a weekly 15-minute “awe walk” (a walk focused on noticing nature and cultivating awe) led to increased positive emotions and connection for older adults. Look over the areas that you are having trouble fitting into your life. Is there a way to engage in a small dose daily or weekly? Maybe instead of 90 minutes of yoga, you can do a few poses first thing in the morning or stretch in between Zoom calls during your day.

Put it together.
Integrate all aspects of your life: Stop seeing work, personal time, and social times as separate compartments. Rather than competing against each other, they should collaborate. Removing this imaginary wall will release a lot of tension. Integrate all aspects by applying learnings across them all.