11 Tips to Soothe Holiday Stress
The holiday season often requires us to keep track of and pay attention to a greater number of responsibilities than usual which causes our brain and bodies to go into overdrive. Tis the season to be stressed indeed. But there are ways to be merry and to shine brightly just the same. Here are some tips from Dr. Daniel Amen that will help soothe the holiday jitters.
1. Think boundaries, not walls.
Effective boundary setting is a bid for connection and closeness, not a method of shutting people out. If you’re tempted to say yes to every request, you might build resentment or spread yourself too thin and cancel your commitment at the last minute. By being selective about what you feel you can handle, you are honoring your own time and needs as well as the person you’re setting a boundary with. Clear communication about your wants and needs sets the tone of mutual respect with yourself and others.
2. Meditate.
A 2017 study showed a significant improvement in mood after practicing mindfulness meditation. You don’t have to sit for hours to reap the benefits of meditation; like exercise, there is no exact amount of time that is required to feel its positive effects. Make a daily routine of closing your eyes, focusing on your breath, and being still for even a few minutes throughout your day. Use guided meditation to help you focus and stay present if needed. Being consistent and meditating daily for short periods of time is more beneficial than intermittently meditating for long periods of time.
3. Exercise.
Exercise releases feel-good chemicals in your brain that help clear your mind and calm your nervous system. There is an abundance of research supporting the physical effects of exercise such as lower blood pressure, higher levels of cardiovascular fitness, and lower chances of getting cancer, diabetes, and Alzheimer’s. The mental and physical benefits of exercise include a decrease in depression and anxiety as well as an effective way to stave off the negative impact of toxic stress.
4. Cultivate compassion.
While it might not seem easy or even possible, make an effort to accept and feel love for the people in your life. If someone is particularly toxic or your dynamic is unhealthy then it could be time to sever ties, but in less extreme cases and with the public at large, take a breath and remember that people are often a mixture of many things—sometimes difficult to communicate with and other times loving, funny and thoughtful. Put the focus on the whole person, not just the problematic behavior.
5. Head outdoors.
If you’re in a climate where it is cold and dreary, getting outside could be tricky; however, being outdoors doesn’t have to mean an all-day excursion to your favorite hiking trail. Even 10 or 15 minutes of fresh air can do wonders for your mental health. A 2017 study in the International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health showed a significant increase in participants’ states of well-being after spending time outdoors.
6. Be perfectly imperfect.
Is the bow on the present to your co-worker lopsided? If so, oh well! Let it be. It’s easy to get mired in the details of everything being “just so” and have high self-expectations of yourself but it is detrimental to your health. Let the small stuff go as best you can. Beware of toxic perfectionism, where you might set unrealistic goals, be very hard on yourself, or feel underlying shame about past behavior that motivates you to be “good” all of the time.
7. Avoid alcohol.
If you’re having a drink or two every day, keep in mind that even low to moderate levels of alcohol use have a negative impact on your brain. A study examining the effects of chronic alcohol consumption at low to moderate amounts showed decreases in grey and white matter in the brain and brain shrinkage. Additionally, alcohol lowers the ability to think clearly and make sound choices and can lead to more toxic interactions with others. If saying no to alcohol is challenging, use these tips to help communicate clearly. Find new mocktails or infused water to make, and remember, it’s always OK to stay hydrated by sipping on water at a holiday party!
8. Stick to talking about the weather or sports.
Avoid controversial conversations that could get heated. Speaking about political or newsworthy events is beneficial to rally together and effect change but can lead to toxic interactions if opinions are not respected. Avoid topics that are likely to cause division. If someone else brings up a contentious political topic, set a boundary such as “I’m going to keep our conversation to things other than politics” and ask about their children, pets, job, favorite sports team, hobby, or next vacation. Neutral conversation and asking people questions about themselves can keep you out of the hot seat. Keep in mind that some people with ADD/ADHD can get a rush from arguments; it is important not to engage and avoid toxic talk.
9. Get creative with gifts.
Buying gifts can be a major source of financial stress. Get past the pressure of buying lavish presents in high quantities for your loved ones, and instead offer loving acts such as babysitting, dog sitting, or making healthy treats. Purchase a gift card for groceries or gasoline. If you are ambitious or crafty, make a recipe book, photo album, or draw something special. Plan a special day outdoors, go to a museum, make a music playlist, or write a meaningful letter to those you love. Ideas that are free or inexpensive abound and as a bonus, using your creativity can help calm you down. World-renowned psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi coined the term “flow,” which relates to a state of happiness found when we are doing things we love, including creative endeavors.
10. Seek solitude.
Spending time with friends, family, and co-workers, and being in the mix of the holiday chaos at retail and grocery stores can lead to a state of overstimulation and overwhelm. Whether you’re an introvert or extrovert, solitude is an important way to recharge and get quiet. Data from a 2021 study published in the journal Frontiers in Psychology show an increase in self-connection, a sense of autonomy, and self-reliance as a direct connection to solitude.
11. Breathe.
There are myriad breathing exercises to calm the nervous system and exploring those is a great way to find out what works best for you. Getting more oxygen into our bloodstream is extremely beneficial to slow down racing thoughts, regulate mood, and reset an overall state of being from stressed to relaxed. Diaphragmatic breathing is a great one to try, as is breathing from your belly, through your nose, and out through your mouth. As you breathe deeply, consciously relax tense areas of your body. Use this kind of breathwork to complement meditation and practice it anywhere, anytime.
We hope these tips can help make the holidays more meaningful and peaceful for you.
